How To Ease The Mad Rush To Read

The kind of school I’ve always wanted for my children would have warm and talented teachers, valued both social/emotional skills and academics, and have a variety of creative learning opportunities.

What’s on your school wish list?

Naturally, I hoped that elementary school would focus on the enjoyment of reading and comprehension, and follow the pace of the individual child in some fashion.

This didn’t feel like a tall order. After all, our preschool was a mix of play and some academics, but it was taught in a way that honored the whole child.

I hoped that elementary school would be a natural extension from the foundation that was learned in preschool.

We researched many possibilities in elementary schools, including private and charter schools. Yet the commute, tuition, and lack of diversity in some private schools didn’t feel like a right fit for us.

Deciding on Public School

I have taught in a public school and have a deep respect for the talented teachers and rich programs in many public schools. Plus, we really wanted the chance to walk our daughter to school with our community of culturally diverse neighbors.

So we went all in! Public school it was. I knew we’d feel a mix of gratitude and maybe some concerns, but we felt prepared to handle it as it came.

Now with a 1st grader in public school, we are thankful to get so much of our wish list. Our teachers are caring and have truly creative and engaging ideas. There is some focus on learning social and emotional skills (an area that can be improved, yet I see more momentum in improving this). The diversity between cultures and socio-economic backgrounds is also amazing to see. I’m grateful that my child has the chance to attend a school that’s well-funded and free.

We’re fortunate!

And yes, there are some concerns too.

The Mad Rush To Read

Since the beginning of kindergarten, there has been an obsessive rush to learn how to read, and it’s been difficult to navigate. It leaves me and many families with children who struggle wondering what to do when we want to instill a natural love of reading.

The obsessions means reading expectations is happening earlier and more than ever before. It means testing and re-testing, and added pressure on students, teachers and districts.

It’s making sure children can crank out as many sight words as possible. It’s sitting kids at computers for long durations of time. It’s competing and comparing with other classmates. It’s timed and scored and sometimes my child would come home from kindergarten with a 5/20 marked in red ink at the top of her “racers.”

Do any of these factors ring true for your children? How’s it all going?

Luckily, our daughter has a positive attitude about school and her teachers have commented on her love of learning that shines bright in her class. That feels so good for us all!

On other days, it’s big emotions and frustration after a long day of sitting and writing, testing, and very few opportunities to move and play. She also notices how she struggles alongside children who have been in academic preschools.

I also have my own moments of sadness that these younger years are so developmentally inappropriate and I don’t have much control over it.

When did, childhood become a race?

Even though study after study indicates that the Common Core’s emphasis on reading is too much too soon, and is damaging our children’s love of learning. It also trumps social and emotional learning, art, physical education, science, and unstructured play every time.

Yet it all continues, even with scores declining as each year passes.

So what’s trailblazing parents like us to do? How is this going at your home? How do you balance all of this?

Below is what we are doing at home to bring more peace, support, and a love of reading after school. I hope that it supports you and your family if school life is feeling bonkers. I’d love to hear your ideas too!

Schedule Unstructured Play-Time

After school on most days, if there’s free time, then schedule unstructured play. This can happen indoors or outdoors, and we can become very open to what our children come up with in an engaging space (as long as they aren’t hanging from the curtains and following our rules!).

Our children can take classes and get involved with after school events - of course! But being mindful about over-scheduling means more time for unstructured child-led play, which is necessary for our children’s overall health and well-being.

Unstructured play-time is so helpful to the overall happiness in our home, sometimes I’ll have groceries delivered or I’ll find other times to run errands so that it doesn’t interrupt.

Have you also noticed how unstructured playtime is therapeutic during stressful times? When our children aren’t restricted by constant expectations (“say ‘please,’ ‘share!’), and are allowed to play freely and creatively without adult-led interruption, it allows time and space for children to process their experiences. It’s a joyful distraction too.

If you’d like to learn more, I share exactly what to do to create rich unstructured play-time in my popular Guide & Workbook.

Listen and Acknowledge Feelings

Challenging experiences, and even small changes in schedules can bring emotions and pushback from children. It can come out of nowhere, and it can look like tears over small nuisances, ridiculous requests, whining, pouting, stubbornness, yelling over something trivial, and the like. I bet you’ve noticed this too.

It can be hard on everyone.

It feels extra frustrating for us as parents having to navigate these challenges on top of everything else. Yet it’s important for us to recognize that expressing emotions, even the big ones, is a form of release for children.

Our acceptance of these natural emotions, and even encouraging our children to share with us how they are feeling, means we are the safe haven from the storms.

In this post, I share how to discipline while allowing the big emotions. We can also see their upset as the perfect opportunity to release what was building throughout the day.

Every human, no matter what the age, just wants to be understood. Not only does this practice build resilience and emotional intelligence, it also forms a special connection between us amazing parents and our children.

Instead of saying, “it’s okay, don’t be upset, look on the bright side,” we can acknowledge what we are hearing, “You didn’t like that part of the day” or “I hear you, a friend upset you today, “ or “You had fun on the monkey bars today!”

Discover Practices That Nurture A Positive, Natural Learning Experience

While school is full of worksheets and timed tests, home doesn’t have to be that way.

It is truly a choice to put an emphasis on scores and performance in school. We don’t have to celebrate or punish in accordance with a number on a piece of paper. We can focus on our children trying their best, and support them in meaningful ways, without the pressure we get caught up in.

Pressure can also come from big celebrations of achievements, as children now feel obligated to keep up at this pace.

Our children, and you and I are made of stardust - literally! There is so much more to us than acing a test.

We have also found that letting my daughter choose any books she wants, whether it’s Barbie books or graphic novels has been big in helping her enjoy reading. I intentionally don’t use phrases like “big girl books” or “1st grade books” because I don’t want to add any judgements to what she chooses.

Talk To Other Like-Minded Moms

Talking to other moms who share a passion for child-led learning and conscious parenting has been so big in shaping a more positive perspective for me. Look for parents who have a positive mindset, and are open to problem solving some of the challenges.

I have learned to give space to parents who constantly complain or add more fear to the situation. I also try to not become one of the said complainers, though, I have found myself there and have forgiven myself a time or three.

Sometimes we get to hear guidance that opens us up to new possibilities.

This is from Sarah, a wise and warm friend of mine who has a high-school aged child and two younger children:

My son was late to the fluent reading game, but his school only focused on enjoyment of reading, and comprehension (from listening to read aloud and independent reading), and he has never had confidence issues or felt any pressure. However, now in high school, he acknowledges that he and his friend, who is a family friend- are the only kids who have parents that don’t pressure them about school work and grades!

He can’t even understand how these other kids hold it together with all the testing they’ve had for 9 nine years before high school, and the pressure from teachers and parents to be “ahead” on everything. Some kids really take the pressure hard I have friends who have just opted their kids out of homework (totally legal and your right in public school!), and we have always opted out of state testing (also totally legal and your right as a parent!).

Just gotta work to reinforce all the good stuff at home and remove whatever else you can from their orbits that you deem developmentally inappropriate for them or against best practices.

Thanks Sarah!

Sending lots of love over to you, and cheering us on,

Jesse xo

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